Fools
by Yusagi
Summary: Some things are better left between time-and-space travelers only.


Disclaimer: Nothing by the idea of Shareen's characterization is mine, and I can never be sure about that, either.

AN: No tricks this year, just a crackfic! Really. Don't take it too seriously, it's crackfic disguised as fluff.

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**Fools**

The Doctor always got impatient at the end of their visits to her mother. The longer the visit, the more ridiculous he'd get about rushing out. Not that Rose could blame him. As much as she loved her mother, she couldn't help looking forward to getting out again whenever they'd stop for more than a few hours.

At the end of one particular weekend, her mother had other ideas. Every time the Doctor warmed up to leaving, she'd come up with something else to distract them or stall them. Rose didn't have the heart to call her on it—since Mickey left, she knew things had been lonely for her mother...and that was why she'd convinced the Doctor they ought to spend a weekend in London following up on something Mickey suggested earlier in the year that they'd never bothered to look into before. They hadn't come up with anything of substance, and the Doctor was anxious to get out and find more adventure.

He'd gone from subtle to obvious, throwing on his coat and shuffling around the hallway, taking little steps toward the door every time they settled one of her mother's distractions. This time he'd made it halfway before she peered out of the living room doorway.

"Oh, Rose! I forgot to say!"

The Doctor sighed, and slumped against the wall, but had the good sense to keep whatever remark he seemed to be considering to himself. Even with that display, her mother spared a moment to give the Doctor a withering glower. "_Shareen_. She's getting _married_!"

Rose blinked. "What, _Shareen_? She's winding you up, Mum. She's not even interested in settling down."

Jackie snorted. The Doctor looked just a little bit ill, as he tended to whenever her mother got into domestic discussions. "Nah, I met 'im! He's a nice, respectable bloke. A _banker_!" Clearly, her continued skepticism was obvious in her expression, because her mother then added, "Rose, sometimes people grow up, you know. They decide to settle down after all, and it's not surprising at _all_ Shareen decided to keep a good thing like him once she realized she had 'im. It's only natural..."

The Doctor snorted then, a sudden and sharp sound that cut through what she'd been about to say. "_Well_, if marriage is all it takes to grow up, Rose is all set already." He straightened and dug his hands into his pockets. Apparently he'd run out of patience. "That's all settled then! We've got to-"

"What do you _mean_ she's 'all _set_'?" Jackie Tyler was the only person in the entire universe who could shout over the Doctor. Of that Rose was sure.

"Married. Mature. All grown up. Good day, Jackie-"

"You _stay right there_!"

Rose winced as her mother's voice reverberated in the hallway, and she stormed into the hallway. "Mum it's not-"

"What do you mean my daughter's _married_!" That wasn't a question.

The Doctor, who seemed to have gone mad and lost his sense of self preservation shrugged. "_Well_. Technically. Twice. Hazard of space travel-by-two. Still, if marriage is all it takes to-"

The slap _echoed_.

"_How dare you lay a hand on my DAUGHTER!_"

The Doctor seemed momentarily...genuinely _shocked_ by the slap. Which meant Rose was going to have to think fast, before her mother ground him up with her bare hands. "I-t's _April first, MUM!_"

Mercifully, that stopped her. "What?"

"It's—It's April Fool's Day, Mum!" She laughed and shrugged smiling wide and hoping the Doctor would have recovered well enough to play along by now. "He's winding you up, Mum."

"Granted...usually there's more laughs and less slapping involved." The Doctor rubbed at his cheek gingerly.

Her mother rounded on him again. "Oh, is that _so_?"

"April Fools, Jackie Tyler."

She slapped him again anyway, but at least they made it through the door in one piece.

The Doctor winced as he wandered down the street, still rubbing at his cheek, but despite his pitiful act, Rose couldn't muster up sympathy for him. "Well you're the one who went and blabbed about getting married, Doctor."

"It was just a _ceremony_! Get married or die! And she was the one making a big deal and...keeping us." He grimaced. "I just thought it'd shut her up long enough for us to get out."

"Well _she_ didn't know that, did she? You left that bit out." She sighed. "It'll be months before it'll be safe to come by again the way you left it."

He didn't look apologetic about it at all, and for a few moments, she almost thought he'd done it on purpose. Until his expression turned thoughtful and he added, "Blimey...you'd think I'd have told her about that one planet with the _shagging festival_."


End file.
